Help others who need you. But only as a tender nurturer. Be delicate and small, not large and strong. Speak up, but not too loudly. Only men can have a booming voice, when your voice projects, you’re being too loud and possibly hysterical.

Never talk too loudly if you’re fat. Then you’re just a beastly creature unworthy of anything. But don’t talk too loudly if you’re small, either, because that’s scary, because you’re too easily beaten down. Medium women, they’re probably written off as hysterical too.

Never cry, heaven forbid you’re someone who cries when you get angry. That’s emotional manipulation! Even if you can’t hold it, even if it’s your natural reaction to anger, even if it’s infinitely preferably to screaming and cursing, if you cry you’re weak. But if you curse like a man, you’re crazy. Just a mad woman who needs to probably be committed. And forget it if you’re black, then you have to tiptoe about being an “Angry Black Woman.” Or if you’re Latina, there’s that “Fiery Latin Blood!” Or the Asian “Dragon Lady!” Or a “Karen,” the new favorite jab from white men who coopted it from women of color (have you seen the white male designed Halloween mask? Men never can resist a “woke” way to be fucking misogynists).

Eat my farts, Jason Adcock

Don’t be fat at all, while we’re at it. You only exist to be looked at and admired, while doctors pretend to care about your health and ignore all the metabolic markers of health. You know I almost had the incredibly dangerous weight loss surgery that would have done nothing for me because an ignorant doctor knew nothing about lipedema? It affects 11% of women. It’s extremely painful. If it affected 11% of men, there’d be a clinic on every goddamn corner.

Don’t be too beautiful, either, because then you’ll never know a moment’s peace with all the creeps crawling all over you. It’s why Billie Eilish dresses like an Olsen Twin. Don’t be high-maintenance, don’t be sloppy, don’t be lazy, make yourself pleasing, but don’t be the obnoxious bitch who nibbles on salad. Eat pizza and make it look cute.

And just remember, nothing will ever be good enough. Not for you, not for your families, not for the world.

Shave your head. Stop shaving your legs and armpits. Burn your bra. Stop wearing make-up. The feminists of the ’70s had it right. Don’t do shit for a man, don’t do shit to impress anyone. Don’t compromise your values for anyone. Don’t swallow your opinions for anyone, my fellow strong women. You’ve been doing it all your life. It’s like swallowing poison, over and over.

You’ve squeezed yourself into shapewear. You’ve injected poison into your faces. You’ve cut open your bodies and inserted foreign objects into your bodies to artificially create curves. You’ve worn shoes that changes the shape of your spine and shortened your Achilles tendon. You’ve moved out of the way when passing a man on the sidewalk, giving him the right of way.

Stop doing that.

Women hold up at least half the sky, if not more.

This world would be lost without us.

Remind them of that.

Published by alisonhebert

BA Social Sciences, Portland State University, 2013, Magna Cum Laude MA Sociology, University of Miami, 2016, with a focus on Race/Ethnicity and Medical Sociology Professional Patient with Progressive Multiple Sclerosis Angry Feminist

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